friends

Friends

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭17:17‬ 

I can’t be the only one that has gone to God several times with the request of friends to do life with. Much of my high school years, I was never planted in a friend group. I was “friends” with everyone. I loved hanging out with people from different “clicks” (high school is made up of these—it’s just something everyone deals with). I was genuinely interested in just loving people and pouring life into them. But at some point, something had to change. 

Proverbs 18:1, 24 states;

Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment.

A man of many companions may come to ruin,

but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Life isn’t meant to be lived alone. While you may thrive in the environment of making everyone feel loved, it’s imperative that you never neglect that you need to feel loved the same way you make others feel loved. You need people in your life that are willing to stick closer than a brother. 

So I was back to square one. 

Jesus, I need friends. Friends that will love me the way I freely love. Friends that will challenge me. Friends that will make me want to be a better me. 

I prayed this prayer all throughout my senior year. 

I’ll never forget the feeling I felt the day of graduation. I woke up on a day that was meant for such joy, but I was so burdened. I thought leaving high school meant I was leaving tons of friendship opportunities. I knew that I was closing a chapter of my life that was so special. I was faced with the reality that I really will never see some of these people again on this side of eternity. 

So from my heart, continued a cry for those life giving relationships that I knew God could place in my life. But it seemed like they just weren’t coming quick enough—I was ready to live my summer with friends making memories!! 

My friend, I want you to know that your God is not a far off God. If you think your desire for friendships is a silly request— think again! Our Jesus is so gracious and even He knew that life was meant to be lived with others. 

Jesus called His 12 disciples to journey with Him throughout His ministry because He knew, life is better together!!

I believe Jesus displays true friendship with His disciples and who better to learn from than the Messiah. 

There are 4 pieces of encouragement I want to give you that are backed up by scripture that I pray will be helpful when finding life giving friends to do life with. 

 1. Seek them out FIRST

Jesus went to find His disciples. A lot of times, we pray for friendships and expect them to fall right out heaven (the same goes for spouses, but we won’t go there). While some situations are completely divine and unexpected..we must learn to do our part and stop expecting people to ascend from heaven to walk through life with us. Jesus WENT and found His disciples and called them. “And he said to them, "Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men." Immediately they left their nets and followed him.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭4:19 

Let’s rid ourselves of the victim mentality that says we can’t send the first text, pursue a friendship first, or initialize the hangouts. There could be a lifelong friendship on the other side of your comfort zone. So, be OKAY with the awkward!!!

2. Friends that challenge you

Jesus loves you as you are but wants you to be better. The truth is, there is always room to grow. Jesus spent time challenging His disciples. When Jesus sought out His friends, He knew they were at their best just some average guys. But He decided to call out the potential in them. He challenged them as He entrusted them with the gospel. The great commission is a great example of this. “And he said to them, "Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation.”‭‭Mark‬ ‭16:15‬ ‭

Can you imagine being the disciples when Jesus gave them the great commission? They probably thought they were unqualified even though they spent time with the Father day in and day out. Jesus challenged them because He wanted them to become the best version of themselves. It’s essential to find friends that desire the same thing for your life. 

I think now would be a good time to introduce my sweet friend, Madi, to the blog. Before I met Madi, I had heard the saying “if you’re the smartest person in your circle..you need a new circle”. Yet, that phrase held no weight in my heart, because I didn’t realize the significance of it—I found myself okay with being around people that weren’t challenging me. I was stuck in my comfortability. When I met Madi, I was intimidated. But it was a GOOD intimidation— I realized, this girl is legit. She is bold and she makes me want to be a better me. Throughout our friendship, Madi and I have had the opportunity to get real with one another. Since then, there has not been a time we’ve been together that we haven't asked each other tough questions, challenge one another personally, spiritually, and continually found ways that we can push each other to love better, serve better, and lead better. 

3. Friends that point you to the father 

“Then Jesus told his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭16:24‬ 

Part of Jesus challenging His disciples was simply pointing them to the Father, and denying themselves. Life gets crazy at times. Trials of life come with frustration, heaviness, and moments where you want to give up. But it’s in those moments, where God, often times, wants to reveal Himself to you. While it’s essential to have friends that love you and encourage you, we cannot live solely on their words of affirmation, or become too dependent on anything your friends have to offer you. The only thing that will ever satisfy our souls is King Jesus. 

The same friend I was mentioning above, does this so well. I have been walking through a season of unknown. A lot of my days include some frustration, some worry, and some stress. I picked up the phone and called Madi. As we talked about our day, I explained to her that I was experiencing some frustration but I couldn’t pinpoint what was wrong. Without hesitation, Madi said “How about you go spend some time with Jesus..and then call me back and let me know how you feel?” As soon as she hung up, I said, this girl is my best friend. Madi could have easily given me her best advice or told me what I was doing wrong. But she knew that I only needed to be pointed back to Jesus. 

Sidenote: I most definitely did feel 110% better after being at the feet of Jesus.  

4. Joy 

“A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭17:22‬ 

This one is a given. But one more thing I would like to leave you with is the importance of JOY in relationships. Surround yourself with those that bring the fullness of joy into your life. Laugh with one another, laugh at one another, and laugh without fear of the future. (Proverbs 31 plug)! Smiling is my favorite, and making memories with friends while you’re laughing is a treasure. 

For one moment, I want to speak life into the one that feels alone and friendless. I want you to know that you never have to strive to be a friend of God. He calls you His own and you never have to prove yourself to be His friend. “No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.”

‭‭John‬ ‭15:15‬ ‭—you are loved, and The Father wants you to be in relationship with Him and with your brothers and sisters. 

Jesus— 

Thank you for displaying friendship for us to know the importance of being in relationship with one another. Thank you for being a friend to us, for calling us out, for loving us enough to not leave us as we are, and for the opportunity to live in the fullness of JOY. I pray that each and every person that has taken time to read the words you’ve laid on my heart, feels the comfort of community but continually rests in what YOU say about us. You’re a faithful friend, Jesus.